"too often the thing you want most is the one you can't have. desire leaves us heartbroken. it wears us out. desire can wreck your life. but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want."
i don't want to say anything cliche like i've seen the light at the end of the tunnel or even mention the word 'epiphany' (i just did) so let's just say i've done an alice in wonderland and i'm back in reality.
the incident that finally woke me up was horrifying. because i'm not that kind of person . and i never want anyone to think i'm that type - i can't even bring myself to say the words, it's blasphemous! especially when Qi says it, it just really snapped me out of it and to take it seriously (so thanks for that darl) and not just brush it away because I know i'm not that person.
i still don't know what i want and i'm definitely suffering the most. but i have people who love me and are there for me, regardless of distance or how long we've known each other. i'm truly blessed and i need to remember that everyday :)
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