我没有这种天份

acceptance is such a difficult thing
and i never stop trying.

i keep thinking of you, random thoughts floating around.
i'm really trying so hard to put you out of my mind
but the harder i try, the harder it becomes
yet, i can't tell anyone, can't form words to express
how i feel about you exactly.
only time will tell...

if only

i missed you today.
if only i knew, what you were doing instead...
if only i knew, if i'll see you in my future...

i wonder if you think of me at all.
if only you did.

i fell in love in hk (part 2)

i love pochacco!!!

and...

you haven't left my thoughts.

the fall

i just bought this jazzy skin for my laptop!!

i know, i know... it's rather gloomy and emo looking...

but there is just something about it that expresses alot

it's aptly titled "the fall"

not to worry, i won't fall into depression ;)

hope it fits =/

i fell in love in hk

with this gorgeous PUPPY!!!!
this one is my favourite, though the other two were just as adorable! =)

SOOOOOOOOOOOO adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously, who can resist this cutie?!?!

even xiao wei is besotted!

see the other puppies behind???

poodles are so intelligent!!

i taught Lucky how to shake hands - who said you couldn't teach old dogs new tricks?!

i really miss Lucky...when we first moved to GC i used to cry when i think of her.

she was the puppy my sister and i were so fearful of (we were only young then)

but we grew to love her...

her excited barks when strangers approach, her affection and love for us.

playing hide & seek with her,

how she would sit quietly while we watched tv.

even daddy loved her, she was the first dog he loved! (prince & max don't come close!)

to kill a dead soul

"you make me smile,

you make me laugh,

you make me feel tall,

you make me be who i want to be,
you make me feel smart,
but sometimes also make me feel dumb -_-,

you make me appreciate,

you make me realize,
you make me not forget,
you make me nervous,
you make me sleepless,

you make me watch Ghost Whisperer at 1 in the morning,

you make me distracted [not optional],

and most of all,

you make me feel loved.

to me, you're God's answer to my prayers.

to me, you're more than enough."

were they romantic poetic gestures,
or were they empty words to appease a troublesome desperado?
there's so many things i could say right now.
could anybody have saved me from the last year?
time and emotion spent and wasted.

somebody should make me into a hallmark card-warm,fuzzy,loving feelings guaranteed to brighten up your day or put a cheer into your heart.



esad la.
foff.

yay! 2 weeks more before i start german classes!

bitter\\sweet

my heart was beating so fast, pounding against my chest so hard i could hear it echoing in my ears. my shaking fingers felt so clumsy, beyond my control. my breath caught in my throat and i didn't even realise i had stopped breathing. heart hammering as if begging to be let out. slight trace of tears pricking the back of my eyes. but i just refused to stop. instead, i kept going, some small voice in my head instructing me through the steps. until i couldn't go on any more. i casually looked up, smiled brightly, still shaking hand pushing away my fringe from my face.

"YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!!!" i screamed at myself silently.
but still i keep thinking about you.
how much i want to get to know you.
and i felt and heard my heart break.
because i think there is a more likely chance of me dying a slow torturous death.

and how much i don't want to sound like a freaky stalker!

i'm so afraid, that momo-chan will find out who you are. or all the girls for that matter..
is it so important that you remain a secret, so that no one can burst this bubble??

bad day, bad mood

i admitted to joelle things i feel about you today...
and she made a lot of good points
but thinking about some of them really got my blood boiling.
sigh, i know i should stop here...it's no use...
yet i can't seem to think, to wonder, if you ever saw me here at all.
if you know, that i'm waiting patiently (ok, impatiently) here for you.
the right thing for me to do, is to walk away.
but i can't seem to, it feels so difficult.
so conflicted, my insides are doing weird things...
i'm driving myself crazy =/

你对我来说 你就像天使一样