t'was another teary night

i got home last night and was reorganising my laptop to make it more "friendly" to me. i transferred favourite photos onto my screensaver slideshow and it sure brought the memories flooding! i also opened up the slideshow kathy made for milly's 21st and all the photos captured since the beginning of our friendship (back in o-week 2003!) opened up the floodgates. i miss you girls sooo much! and some of the random photos too! people i haven't thought about in the longest time....there was even a photo of ....dare i say his name? peter! (if u remember that was his real name) and going through some of those photos from At Home and Jazz Nite and Banquet (especially) i was just thinking "did that happen?" and "i don't remember there being a mechanical bull!" and lots of "gosh i look wasted" and "what are we doing?!?" hmmm good times good times!!

suicidal birds

i was in the car with my uncle driving home from the hospital when up ahead on the road i saw these 2 birds in the middle of the road, looking like they were having a good ol' yarn to each other. i was quite fascinated (nothing much else to look at) which quickly turned to alarm as we approached coz they were still in the middle of the road! thankfully, i'm not writing about roadkill...they were about 5cm away from the tyres (i looked!) and they still didn't fly away when the car zoomed past!

......suicidal birds......

horror story on the mrt

this nearly made pao choke on her dinner last night from laughter when i sent this sms to her...

"Pao prepare 2 b shocked - i was on the mrt sitting down minding my own business when i heard them call my station so i looked up n there was a guy in front of me...n his fly was undone!"

needless to say, i made some discreet gesture, clearing of throat at him as i got up from my seat but he just looked blankly at me and took my place!! i was so embarrassed for him, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry! i'm sure the people beside me noticed it too... eek!

Encouragements always appreciated

Thanks to everyone who have been supportive of me in my job hunting! It's really comforting to know many of you have faith in me (even those who know my cumulative GPA, not just the last 2 years!) and it does motivate me to try harder than I already am (kindda hard to beat). Tomorrow I go in for my first interview. Not exactly my first choice as it is an IFA (independent financial advisor). I'm hoping for more good news in the coming days/weeks. But right now, I think I might take whatever I can get! The smell of food is really overpowering here (at a cafe) so I think I'd better leave before I get tempted to order more food!

the elusive cousin & a taxi ride from hell

i finally met up with my cousin last night after almost a week of near misses. we had dinner at indo-chine, which was.....interesting.... then we sojourned to cineleisure where we got a room at L9 and watched half a movie and i got to chat to a few friends on msn.

i seriously thought i was headed for my end last night - the taxi ride from hell!

sweet irony? i think not! i'm trying to adjust to a new life miles away from home and i don't need all these dramas!! aarrgghh!! ...i need therapy...

high society

I know, I know, I'm posting msgs like every 10 mins!

I just randomly walked into THAT CD SHOP (what a name!) and picked up one of their High Society albums and I must say I'm very impressed! I love all the music on the cd i got and that's pretty hard for me to say - there seems to always be some songs I don't like on any cd!

The Phantom of the Opera is coming to Singapore!!! I'm definitely going, even if by myself! But if there are any fellow avid theatre lovers out there, I highly recommend Phantom. I still remember 10 years ago when my family was in London and I was soooooo heartbroken that we missed it then!

Goodbye uni life....

It's really weird that everyone I know is going back to uni today and I'm sitting at the library in Orchard scouring the internet for jobs. I've been keeping a record of my spendings and finances (the inner accountant comes out!) and I'm realising that I've been spending too much! I keep using the excuse that it's the cost of settling here - new stuff for the house, the kettle broke down, etc. I now have to keep myself in check every time I hand over my credit card! Definitely a change, I need to watch my own spending rather than letting my parents worry about that! Oh gosh....now I really feel old!!

Quick peek at the last 2 weeks!!

It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve left my home of over 10 years – the Gold Coast. The first week mummy was around to take my mind off missing my baby sister Lissy and my besties :( mummy and I were pretty much running around everywhere – getting me settled into my new room. I’ve just added the finishing touches in my room – favourite photos of my friends and family. During that week I briefly bumped into Felicia at Wisma, carrying bags full of pillows and the new bedsheets I absolutely am loving – white with pink/red roses! They are satin cotton and feel utterly divine. And I still like my room in shades of pink best! I am still using the light pink pillowcase I made in grade 8! Haha!! Chinese New Year came and went, no visiting this year – we spent a lot of time visiting grandma in the hospital. Mummy and I dragged ourselves to Chinatown after reunion dinner on the eve of CNY and had a hard time pushing through the crowds. We intended to walk home but got lost at Outram Park MRT – we couldn’t agree which was the right way to go! So we cabbed it from there! I promised myself I wouldn’t cry when mummy left but at the airport, I just broke down. I cried myself to sleep that night, missing Lissy and mummy and daddy. The day after mummy left Liss called and when she said “do you miss me?” I just started crying all over again. I still feel really lonely and empty but I think my tear ducts don’t work anymore!

The second week (this week passed) was spent with friends from home. I met up with Neha a fair bit. I don’t think anyone knows that we used to sit beside and share our music sheets in orchestra in grade 8! Yup we both played the violin, Neha said she quit in grade 10 but I kept going till the end of high school. Mummy still complains about my violin “collecting dust” but I just can’t bear to sell it! Neha and I went to Little India on Tuesday with Cameron, it was hot and I never fail to complain about the weather every time I talk to daddy! On Wednesday I had lunch with Esther and Chris, they both left for AussieLand on Friday. I always have fun with them, gossiping and catching up, and teasing Chris about his love life (and on rare occasions, the lack of!). Then Esther and I went on to shop around and then to dinner with Pao and Neha. That night Neha and I went to St James Powerhouse and had the best night ever! Hot guys were aplenty and the music was fantastic! We danced till I could stand no more – damn those heels! I met Neha again on Friday, this time at Zouk with her fellow interns Boxun and Adriel. We held out till 4.30am when I decided to use my last drink coupon on wine. That was a mistake - I’d been drinking spirits all night and mixing the wine, I was drunk after half a glass and feeling rather sick so we went home. After about 4 hours sleep, we got up and got ready for a day at the Singapore Art Museum, which we both loved, and having a Singapore Sling at the Raffles Hotel, then trudging down to the Bugis Street markets. We bumped into my ex-boss’ parents (the café I worked in my first year of uni) at the markets, they’re in Asia for a month. We went down to Arab Street, hoping for a meal but were sadly disappointed at the lack of activity. I think we were both glad to call it a night at 10pm, exhausted. I met Neha again yesterday for shopping spree at VivoCity with another intern, Jen.

I’m trying to get down to the driving centre to convert my Australian license in the next 2 days. Although I’m wondering if I can be bothered considering I have no car here, which totally sucks! I miss my sporty 4-WD!!! The evils of public transport – where do I begin!?! I mean, I used to rather miss out on uni if I couldn’t drive than take the train and bus!! I have to think about what I want to take with me, instead of taking everything and leaving what I don’t need in the car. I have to wait around for transport – and taxis are the worst! I’m in deep shit when it rains coz I haven’t learnt to take an umbrella everywhere! I don’t feel cool sitting in a bus or train like I do when I’m sitting in the driver’s seat!

Most of all, I miss home – our swanky apartment with a killer view of the hinterland, broadwater, Versace hotel, Sea World, the ocean and beyond, snuggling to sleep next to Liss (not the most comfortable thing – damn bony frame!), air-conditioning (!!!), cooking for the family, having a dryer, admiring the night skyline out of my room’s full-length wall-to-wall window, chatting to Liss till we fall asleep, fighting Liss for closet space!

But I must say, the food here is great! I’m eating all the things I’ve been missing – the Gold Coast is not the best place to find good Singapore dishes like char kway teow, chicken rice, and my favourite snack, kueh tu tu! I’m eating way too much and I’m sure the weighing scales will agree!

why is it that we always want what we can't have?
further more it's a personal dilemma that i can't ask advice from my friends on.
it's like this: i like a boy (it's always about a boy, isn't it?) and have (subconsciously) liked him for a very long time. i say subconsciously because i've always felt something but since i *can't* feel it, i've learnt to ignore it. and now i'm feeling it again because boy steps back into my life.
what i'm afraid of is that if i go there and cross that line, there's no going back. people will hate me. or say they don't hate me but they really do deep inside. and i will probably hate me. i should just tell him to bugger off and leave me alone. ohhhh i could kill this feeling grrrr......

it's the first day of the month and I'm incredibly broke. my Compaq laptop which had to be repaired two or three times last year (in the middle of exams and the entire duration of my mgmt paper, no less!) is in the middle of another crisis. it is definitely on its way out, that much I know for sure. it takes a good 30mins to start up and at least 10mins to open up a 20kb Word document! i've threatened, cajoled, cried...that laptop is just lucky i haven't yet resorted to physical violence. although i did contemplate throwing it out my window...12 storeys up. and all this started when my parents and my sister got their shiny new Toshibas 3 weeks ago! but it will all soon be over when I return to Singapore. my mum promised me a new computer after I despaired about how much I can carry on board (with half my CFA books weighing me down). so now I can look forward to a new laptop, an iBook most definitely :) although i did check my bank balance in Singapore and even if I am richer over there than here, it's only by a little, reinforcing the fact that i need a job. it doesn't matter that it might be minimum wage slave-driving and soul-selling. a lesson for all the little boys and girls: see what happens and what you'll suffer if you don't study hard!