a nomad's life

why is it that we always want what we can't have?
further more it's a personal dilemma that i can't ask advice from my friends on.
it's like this: i like a boy (it's always about a boy, isn't it?) and have (subconsciously) liked him for a very long time. i say subconsciously because i've always felt something but since i *can't* feel it, i've learnt to ignore it. and now i'm feeling it again because boy steps back into my life.
what i'm afraid of is that if i go there and cross that line, there's no going back. people will hate me. or say they don't hate me but they really do deep inside. and i will probably hate me. i should just tell him to bugger off and leave me alone. ohhhh i could kill this feeling grrrr......