clarity

how often do you openly share your thoughts about God and your relationship with God with your family and friends?

God's living presence in a relationship overcomes differences that might otherwise create division and disharmony.

recently i've been struggling with a lot of things. one of which was about someone. this poor person has been the source of many frustrations....feelings i didn't know existed had surfaced. yes, i've been through this before but this time it was different. some of my friends told me to just go with the flow, see what happens, don't worry so much! but i just had this feeling that it was just wrong and i thought it was wrong because of one very obvious fact (not the same wrong as lsy). but i've been praying so hard and this morning God finally opened up my mind to why i have been feeling that it's not right. because these feelings are becoming an obstacle between my relationship with God. and the freedom i felt after this clarity was just....awesome! but i also realise that maybe it's not time for me to be in a relationship right now no matter how lonely i am. i still have a lot of learning and growing up to do. "the One who really understands the longing of her heart...but no man, woman, or child can appease this longing; it can only be satisfied by the ultimate Bridgegroom, Christ Jesus"

Qi has been urging me to pray about it. i don't know what she thinks about the whole situation but i guess i'm the one to blame, for bringing myself into this and creating this problem. stupid AWWW moments and just one minute spent talking to this person will always bring a smile to my face and help me solve at least some of my problems....but lately this person has said/done some things to upset me....pouring it all out to lsy last night felt like such a relief.

hmm i guess that's it for now. insomnia and late nights have been depriving me of much needed sleep and rest. and since i'm a person who has to be occupied doing something, i'm glad i'm forced to stay at home today to get some rest.

AWWW

i've been bursting to tell my close friends something that happened to me on Tuesday that really made me go "AWWW" but at the same time i find it a bit hard to say cos...hmm...it's a sensitive issue. although i did tell Pao today at lunch....and it really was an "AWWW" moment right? LOL

a moment of reflection

it's difficult to be alone but i'm dealing with it. besides, i know i'm never alone with Him by my side :)

i was sitting on the bus the other day, feeling rather despondent when He spoke to me......
my questions answered.
still, temptation taunts at me every single second.
but i realise, that i shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying this thing i have as long as i keep my focus on Him, i will not go running astray.

lots of jumbled thoughts, bits and pieces everywhere.
i need the strength to overcome my weaknesses.

i need all the TLC i can get.


work sucks. having a weak heart sucks too.

the people i love most...my girlies!

long-awaited photos part two

after more nagging from TYQ...

long-awaited photos part one

ok so the girls are nagging and here they are, photos from the last few outings........

absence

don't ask me how work is. i've got more on my plate than i can handle.

and i'm sick of doing 13 hour days. but yet, if i leave earlier, the guilt is heavy and tomorrow's workload gets even heavier.

the irony in this whole mess that is my work life is this: i have no idea what i'm doing but i'm spending so much time doing it and just going nowhere!

(nb: straight As in school will never help you with the reality of working life)

complicated

oh great. i'm not getting in trouble anymore...i'm in trouble. so much trouble...
no, i'm not whinging about work. for now.
i don't know if i can confide in anyone...the one person i want to tell, is the one person i cannot tell! and it is so frustrating but i have to keep it all in.
i think they know. but they don't want to say it to me. i would deny it anyway...
and now i'm sure qi will know what i'm talking about...
how did things get so complicated?

and i saw him again. and a new observation. i got so excited, lsy said she was amused.

perspectives

meeting up with friends and colleagues...
some tough questions i've had to face and frank opinions given.
and i realise that there are some things i need to let go of, that it's not fair for me to cling on and fall very very far down, down a deep deep hole with no end in sight...............
and yet, i can't, because there are just some things, some little luxuries in life, that i can't live without. but, i still know, deep down in my heart, that i'll be left sad, disappointed, broken once more...'cos there are some things, i just can't have.

slow dancing in a burning room

dredging up the past
this brings back memories from high school, jamming sessions that the boys will have and bas going crazy on the drums......
what i miss the most is orchestra and concert band practice with nick..i wonder if he still plays...

proving to be a lot harder...

things that are really bothering me:
- work
- heart

work is just crazy busy. i'm getting dumped with all the shitty stuff nobody wants to do. "learning process" is what I get...that's pretty much code for doing(learning) the things that other people don't want, and if they pass it to me, it means they can do things they would prefer doing.... and yet, i can't complain. when it all gets to me, i turn to JPoh and just pour out all my grouses. the poor dear...

guarding my heart is also not that easy....i'm finding myself getting carried away again, getting caught up in emotions and feelings and letting loneliness get the better of me.

i think just have to learn to guard your heart

yeah...do u find it hard? to guard ur heart?

abit but u just have to be reasonable with yourself

reasonable? how?

i'm still struggling with the 'how' part. i keep telling myself it's all in my head. he's a friend. and that's what a friend would do. so i need to be reasonable and not start running wild with this insane imagination of mine.

hurt, lots of pain, still in pain

i woke up early today (6.45), didn't dawdle around like i usually do in the mornings, got out of the house at 8am. im normally wary of the wet, slippery floor at the void deck when they wash and clean it but somehow, in all my hastiness, thought, i hope the bus isn't going to leave before i get to the bus stop, and the next second, i found myself on my left knee and my right hand on the drain and hurting like hell....



i picked myself up, checked that my precious sass and bide jeans did not get ripped, and then saw my right palm, bleeding.....faint.....i felt woozy just seeing the blood...





so i got to work at 8.30 and busied myself with work before popping over to the doctor at 9.05. doc cleaned and disinfected my wound, applied ointment, and gave me a tetanus booster. she warned that my arm will be sore for the next few days.


it still hurts even now....and my hand is so weak. i have to get JPoh to help me do simple things like getting a pack of drink for me. even stapling my sheets of paper together proved a challenge :( and tonight, after i showered (with much agony), i couldn't even open the bottle of disinfectant! grrr....


feeling extremely frustrated!!!

time flies

ok ok...i have yet to blog abt my trip to Melbourne and home. Kat's prob ready to kill me for not putting up the photos from Friday dinner and Sunday brunch!

so I'm getting ready to blog it all, there will be special shortcut thingies on the left-side for easy navigation :) for Melbourne, Gold Coast, Brisbane, and the roadtrip to KL that I've just returned from! (like only 1.5 hours ago)

many updates to come!!!

nicholas bullies me!!!

nicholas says:
haha

nicholas says:
but qi they all

nicholas says:
dun think they see before

nicholas says:
unlesss

nicholas says:
u vid taped me or smthing

nicholas says:
BLACKMAIL

mich says:
no la

mich says:
i where got

mich says:
:(

mich says:
u make me sound like so bad sia

nicholas says:
hahaha

nicholas says:
u're not meh?

nicholas says:
LOL

nicholas says:
okok u're not

nicholas says:
(:

nicholas says:
kidding lar

mich says:
wah now who is bullying who!

nicholas says:
eh

nicholas says:
even if i was

nicholas says:
no one would believe u

nicholas says:
that i bully u

nicholas says:
MUAHAHAHAHAHAH

see! nicholas DOES bully me ok...not so innocent afterall.....