i'm shutting the door...and then it will be too late

i'm not good enough anyway..
i feel like dying. so happy and yet so sad.
it's tearing me apart, my heart ripped to shreds.
these emotions, suffocating me, slowly killing me, from the inside out.
one day up, the next day down...LOTLC...what a joke.
where to now? i need to move forward. mf can go ________

Lord, help me, give me strength, see me through the long days and longer nights...my tower of refuge, be the comfort i seek.
Your love never fails...