Dreaming with a broken heart

I was on the bus, iPod on, stoning. Then I thought of that moment.
Did he see me as he walked past me?
Then came the song "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" by Air Supply. And I wonder, am I just crushing on him and really making love out of nothing at all?
Sad, but true.
He probably doesn't even know my name...doesn't see me standing in front of him...

I'm troubled, frustrated, confused and I can't seem to share this with anyone. Not even my darlings. I've only confided in one friend, and I'm glad I'll be seeing her tmr. I have a lot of things to let out and get off my chest.

I'm praying hard and trusting in God to lead me the right way.
I told Qi and Sinyee how and why it's hard for me to be able to find love, even though it's something my heart desires. I believe I will know when it's love and not infatuation. I know God will use my friends as guides in this aspect as He has done before.
But I still carry this guilt, this heavy burden, this broken heart. And I'm scared.
I truly am dreaming with a broken heart.
Why do I still feel like a prisoner in my life of sin?
And that I'm not worthy of Endless Love?

Only 3.5 weeks until I return home and run into my mummy's arms...I need that now.