precious moments

i didn't want to blog this. i wanted to lock it up in my treasure chest of precious memories, to keep it all for myself. but i'm afraid that i might forget...

i've never felt more loved, never felt more happiness mixed in with a rojak of sadness and frustration and pain, than those moments in the last two days. day and night that i didn't want to come to an end. yes, i wish it was possible to fly away, somewhere far away... but reality calls me back. and i know that it's clear, that God has been speaking. i just didn't want to listen, blinded by my own selfishness.

a phone call this morning called me back to reality, reminding me not to lean on my own understanding. but i want to savour those precious memories...the happiness and fullness of my heart, physically exhausted but "not tired", wanting to extend the moment just that much longer...you know, you know...and the pain that tears me apart, knowing that it cannot last, that it must come to an end.

and that place is a constant reminder, the place where it all started...the place where i first knew there was something more...

so....how? the right thing has to be done.....

now?

what becomes of the broken hearted?
who had love that's now departed?

"but you're not alone"