left outside alone

since tuesday i've been struggling. i'm angry, frustrated, upset...helpless.
why do people like to complicate my life?!? and upset me?!?

and sometimes i feel so ostracised and now i'm not sure if it's my fault too...
like, i'm not sure if i'm quite sick of always having to make the effort first or i'm getting more shy...i just don't have the same knack of brazenly going up to strangers and striking up a conversation.
and everyone has their little cliques...no matter how much they try to include me, there's still this feeling....
i'm finding it so hard to make friends in singapore. it's a lot of effort and i'm too tired and overworked now to try

i guess i would need to get used to being left outside alone