a nomad's life

it was so difficult when i logged on msn this morning.
nobody said it will be easy. but i have to do it the hard way.

Melvin asked me to read Matthew 5-7 on my flight...but i didn't. i only read it when i was on the bus.
i was so tired...boarding the plane at 11pm, i was just so down.
there's so many reasons for that...but the biggest reason was partings.
i get separation anxiety. i cannot just say bye and leave.
maybe that's why my goodbyes are always so prolonged...

i'm beginning to realise that my problems are not going to just disappear. i have to make decisions and stick to them. i took the first step today. nevertheless, i still felt like giving in and just breaking my resolution. but i stopped myself. it feels like i'm cutting off an arm or a leg...but sometimes, that is the extent one has to go through. and it's better to go through a lot of pain now than dragging it on and losing focus, losing sight of the bigger picture, the happy ending, eternal life...

i think i only managed to get 4 hours sleep last night on the plane...my eyes are hurting from lack of sleep and tears i've cried. thanks to No Reservations, the movie i was only halfway through when they turned off the entertainment system! sai... but the good thing about Etihad (ET's hut ;) ) is that u can choose whatever movies you want to watch and watch it whenever you want! awesome huh!! but the service is not so good...but considering that SIA's service is also getting worse, i guess it's just like a notch below SIA... hopefully business class will be better. i'm looking forward to bigger seats!!! LOL economy can get very squishy...especially with a larger person sitting next to you >_<

i caught the sunrise from the plane - hurray for window seats! it was so beautiful, i was moved to tears....ok ok i'm just really emotionally unstable at the moment alright!?! sleep deprivation mainly to blame...that and my internal struggles... but really wished i could have taken a photo. if only i had my O2...or a camera... hmm...i kept sobbing uncontrollably when i was watching the movie, and the lady who was sitting beside me, trying to sleep kept giving me irritated looks, which i caught out of the corner of my eye - so sorry!

i think i will sleep well tonight, i'm already so very exhausted! i'm glad Gold Coast is 2 hours ahead of Singapore time! LOL

but i noticed that there have been a few changes around since I was last here in August...it's always so hard to see that life goes on even when i'm not around. people get on with their lives, move on... i wonder what it will be like when we next meet again. i don't want to think about it but i can't help but just wonder...arm and leg michelle!!!

it's good to be with my family again. my parents and sister...already, the complaints have started...LOL oh well. thinking what i want/need for Christmas. parents want to get me something useful =/ i have no clue either!

i feel like sleeping now! it's only 2.30pm...maybe i need to get for a short walk, clear my head.

oh the weather is not too bad! i prefer winter though...hate hot weather =/
in typical Gold Coast fashion, the sun was out and shining, though it was overcast and cloudy. it drizzled a little before but that passed very quickly. it's a bit humid though, but not as bad as sg.

going out for dinner tonight i think...

oh, almost had a heart attack at the australian customs...but it's all good, they just had to update their records. other than that, no major problems :)

sigh i'm falling asleep as i'm blogging...not good...need coffee....