tests

this weekend was a series of tests...

firstly, there was the no speaking test.
wow, that's hard cos well...if you know, you understand ;)

yesterday was extra hard. i was in so much pain, stomach cramps are no fun at all. and i don't get stomach cramps very often, although lately i've been getting gastric pains quite frequently.
and it was very torturous. i'm not sure if i prefer the pain until i feel like dying for a few minutes then it's gone or the barely bearable pain that drags out for a whole day or longer.
i got home and i was just so miserable i felt the need to talk to someone...
one particular person...
but i steeled up and took painkillers and hid under my blanket.

then there's the oh-so-sweet gesture...
the girls (Qi) jumped straight to all sorts of theories -___-
but then when she pointed that out i thought to myself, oh no is it because i didn't say anything that's why he did that??!!! that if i had just said, DON'T...then he wouldn't have done it?
but that's not the point. i was happy to see him, but at the same time i felt indifferent.
BUT i still did feel a warm tug. DON'T THINK THAT FAR MICHELLE!!! so i stopped myself and took my actions in check, not to get too far away...

i'm still wrestling but hopefully it gets easier.......
it's because i care for him too much