somebody save me

i'm falling so far because...
- you're so selfless
- you're gentle and kind
- you make me laugh
- you listen to my problems and dreams
- you never hurt me intentionally
- you're super considerate (maybe a little bit too much...)

i know i've fallen because...
- everything you say brings a smile to my face
- i miss you when you're not around
- i feel safe when i'm next to you
- i thank God for bringing you into my life

but all of this....ends now.
i know it won't work out, never will, i don't want to hope.
i feel like running away, going somewhere far away from you - out of sight, out of mind.

somehow, i feel, i'm just not good enough. ok, need to stop that! but i look around me and i know...i'm surrounded by beautiful friends with warm hearts. they're like stars who shine brighter than the sun. i don't know why i get so depressed. fatal thoughts invade my mind intent on poisoning me.

i'm so tired...recharge please...

some people are called to be leaders, others followers. none is better off than the other. then there are some who are groomed to be leaders. you learn how to go from a shy, introverted mouse to become a confident speaker to a big crowd. but in truth, you just learn to put up a front. and hide the same scared little mouse that you are behind it.

i've been traumatised...will i ever get anywhere?
which direction am i heading for?
am i to walk it alone?