why is it that i keep hearing that evil love ballad "all out of love"?!!
EMO EMO EMO!!!
but there is something that i've come to accept. and really, it's not so bad because there are people around to help me get through this. and of course, my own determination. had another good talk with miss phua...many many confessions about almost everything =/
sufferings? afflictions? they just don't compare to the cross..
God will not let me suffer more than i am able to. that even in all this, i know that i am SO BLESSED!!! blessed with "family" who really know what i'm going through because they have walked down this road before. all their guidance means so much to me, they're the people God has put in my life to help me keep walking, to say the words He would say.
and you know the really amazing thing that has come out of all these? somehow, i feel that God is using this for me to help others. i'm amazed that people would actually open up to me and for me to encourage them on, to turn to the Father... indeed, when i am weak, he is strong.
the biggest problem i've been having is sleep. it's bad enough that i have trouble falling asleep and having that little amount of sleep cut short from horrible nightmares, now i'm afraid of sleeping because of said nightmares. imagine getting so emotionally hurt in my sleep that i wake up to find that i've been crying, my pillow and cheeks soaked in tears...
actually i really wonder how and why one person can cause me so much distress. what gives her the authority or right to affect me? to make me feel this way?
i look back at myself just less than a year ago and i see someone who was so excited about her future, someone who had so much ambition and dreams, someone who liked to laugh and make others laugh too.. i seem to be just a faint shadow of the person i used to be.
According to Wikipedia... Insomnia is a sleeping disorder characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. It is typically followed by functional impairment while awake. Insomniacs have been known to complain about being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time.
i really need sleep. good, restful sleep. my mind feels so sluggish.
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