i am so tired... only 4 hours of sleep and i am struggling to hold it together. to be patient, to focus on people talking, to organise myself, and to retain short term memory.
Jesus you are so so good!
oh gosh i've never been more excited. i just wanted to start dancing and singing songs of praise! i was staring off into the distance, smiling at some secret i shared with my Father, feeling the eyes of the guy in front of me follow my gaze into the distance, probably wondering what i was smiling at!
maybe it was the music i had been listening to, all the songs we sang at Mission 2002, and the photos Lucy had posted! de ja vu moment again as i was transported back and thought of happier days, even in the midst of struggling to grow up (yes, that age of 16 to 17) and being so rebellious (oh gosh, nickie can testify to my rebelliousness!), of first loves found and lost... oh the days of my youth!
there is indeed a time and season for everything. people say that time heals all wounds, but now i know, that isn't the truth. the truth is this: God heals all wounds! confess everything that is in your heart, sorrows, desires, hopes, anger, jealousy, dreams, ambitions, and lay them all at his feet. and he will surely take them all up :) and his joy will be my comfort and strength...
i did do one silly thing though. and for that split second, the shock of it threatened to knock me out as bitterness crept in and i thought of all that was stolen from me. and amazingly... i just felt a dull ache. no hyperventilating, no i'm-going-to-die reactions. and immediately, i gave thanks and really pray that he will continue to guard my heart at anything else that may be thrown at me.
blessed is me, on whom his grace has been bestowed!
rejoice in the Lord always :)
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
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