thanks and hugs and kisses to my darling fiona!!! - seriously couldn't sleep last night, it was approaching 1am and i was frustrated that i was so awake though i was feeling damn tired! dear miss ho called me up, quick chat, shared Psalm 16 with me, then prayed for me. and i fell asleep almost straight away! and... i forgot to set my alarm!! but blessing in disguise, i got 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep (though i was late for work) and when i woke up, feeling refreshed (finally!) i was jumping for joy, thanking God for the much needed rest!
am really falling in love with the book of Psalm... have been touching on it on an almost constant basis - preparing for class, devotions, having it shared with me by my darlings...
miss phua was so adorable, on sunday, telling me that everything that she had heard in the last 3 days had been for her to share with me :) and she gave me Psalm 34 to hold on to.
Psalm 34
1 I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.;
2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.;
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.;
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.;
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.;
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.;
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.;
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.;
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.;
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.;
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
will teach you the fear of the LORD.;
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,;
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.;
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.;
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;;
16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.;
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.;
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.;
19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.;
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.;
22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
but really, the best thing was the dream i had. even though most of it has been forgotten, lost in the depths of REM sleep, i did manage to catch, to remember the edges of a sweet dream. it wasn't about work, but it was about the ice queen... and not like the horrible ones that had haunted me for the longest time. in this dream, it was away from the office, i saw her and had approached her with weary caution, thinking it polite to say a quick hello. and instead of the disdain i have encountered on so many occasions she smiled and spoke to me sincerely about things that i will not go into details.
oh perhaps i should mention that forgiveness was something that, after much tears and confusion and anger and frustration on monday night, i had concluded i need to do. of course, prayerfully, because i would never have been able to get that far otherwise. thank God for the time i spent on dear's bed, crying but holding back the BIG BIG sobs that were on the verge of revealing themselves. she helped me to understand, to really move on. and forgiveness was the first step for me to move on. forgiving all those people, all those words, all those feelings.
and i felt a freedom like i have never experienced in my life. finally letting go of everything that had kept me captive, kept me trapped. after walking through the Valley of Weeping, it will become showers of blessing (Psalm 84:6).
heard this for the first time this morning. thanks Phil for lending Olivia's cd to me :)
I'll Move On
This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with many things.
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away.
Can't seem to go on.
And I've been thru' this before.
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near.
I'll move on I'll go on.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.
Here I am once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I've come so far and I want to carry on.
Take a step at a time It's alright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again.
Don't hold back now.
And I've been thru' this before.
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I can feel the sun shining down on me.
Here I am, Here I am.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.
Fade Away
I just wanna say hello to you
But you’re not lookin’ my way
Like you trying to act cool
I think I lost my mind
Back there and then
Oh how I let my feelings go
You see, I know it’s just a crush
And a crush won’t ever last long
No one’s forcing it, boy
So you I’ll put aside
Thought friends we would be
Oh, boy…
Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away
I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away
You just wanna say hello to me
Now the table’s turned
I’m not lookin’ your way
Don’t get it wrong
Oh, it’s twisted up
Alright let’s make this story short
You see, I know it’s just a crush
And a crush won’t ever last long
No one’s forcing it, boy
So you I’ll put aside
Thought friends we would be Oh, boy…
Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away
Whao…
Why did it have to go down this way?
I’ll admit I feel you when you are near
Maybe baby we got it all wrong
Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away
I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away
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