a nomad's life

it has been a long shitty day.
and i've noticed that lately, i've become more vulgar and don't care who hears it...bad.
all the politics seem to be tearing my relationships apart.
Lord, please don't let me become bitter and upset over this!
it hurt so much, maybe some things are better left unknown...
now i know why curiosity killed the cat.
so many four-letter words come to mind...
really glad that big bird, mnb and E are there for me...
and the most frustrating thing was that you didn't, no wouldn't listen to me, to what i had to say, to explain...
i shouldn't dwell on it any more. i have enough problems as it is.


CONGRATULATIONS to my baby sister who can now DRIVE!!!
then she can pick me up from the airport and send me off *be prepared for tears!
but my poor baby called me tonight...late...in tears, sobbing over an argument with mummy.
and my heart really broke cos she was really REALLY upset...
i just wanted to be there to hug her and wipe away her tears as she slowly falls asleep...


i wish she was here to do the same for me...


struggles- i've been eating a lot, overeating...
BIG breakfasts, lunches and dinners, plus snacking in between :(
so so so not good.
and i'm thinking about eating almost ALL the time...why? :'(

i am so grateful to miss phua :)
i had actually thought, just a few hours earlier, that i should just forget about it. that there will be questions left unanswered, that to deal with it i just have to chastise myself for dwelling on this when i had bigger problems demanding my attention.
but it's really good to talk, to at least put words to those thoughts zipping through my mind.
and to know that God has put friends who understand and can sympathise and give me direction. not just to say, this is what you SHOULD do, and expect it to be as easy as that.
thanks for all the advice GP, but i'm still a bit lost about what to do...

i was still in such a foul mood when i got home, i was a bit mean.
how do you even know that i was referring to you? are you just being presumptous??
oh gosh, i hate message history sometimes...
i shouldn't live in this bubble, remembering, reading, wondering...assuming...

recently i've been contemplating, thinking over, wondering, if i should be serving.
just a thought...
i don't even know why...
just feeling very useless lately.

need to really find the motivation to study too...