it's hard work

esther said yesterday at shw, that forgiveness is a process. that sometimes, you need to be forgiving over and over.

ahhhh yes how true.

i'll forgive you. and i'll forget you.
i remember the first time i heard that i was shocked. could you forgive a person just to forget them? i guess in a way, it's a compromise... the person knows they have your forgiveness and you can just forget the person who had caused you so much pain. but that's not a solution, is it?

and i am glad for my perfect friend, the one who will never tire of my repeated ramblings, the one who fully understands what i'm going through, the one who sees and feels my pain and brokeness. what a friend i have in Jesus! :) and i will forgive as Jesus has forgiven. and i will not forget either. who am i kidding if i said that i can forgive and forget? but i will be able to come to terms with it... isn't this all in God's will? that i should learn from this and that he will be here to help me. and i've never been able to hold a grudge.

yesterday...
sigh... why do people always disappoint me? i am so grateful that my Father never fails. and i need to keep forgiving... to keep leaning on Him and trusting in Him.